By Sheila Green
Week 7
Dealing with Sin
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
Romans 3:23 NASB
I sin. We all do. Even our children do. Harasick says throughout his parenting series that we are antagonists of our child’s sin and advocates for the Gospel. First, we must show them by example what repentance looks like in our own lives. We must train them by example and teach them by using the Word to seek forgiveness of sin through confession and acknowledgment of sin. It is the role of the Holy Spirit to bring about repentance. Harasick instructs parents to also teach children the importance of seeking reconciliation with others, to make restitution if necessary, and to learn from failures. Parents should be constantly teaching, questioning, demonstrating, and discussing what our children have learned from their experiences, especially when it involves sin. True repentance is not just an apology.
It is critical that we teach our children to guard their hearts and minds from evil. Exposure can come in many forms: social media, television, music, online, friends, and even family. John MacArthur says, “We must set high standards in what our children see and hear.” It is not enough to just say, “No!” More importantly, we must teach our children to guard their own hearts and minds. Allowing a child or teen to indiscriminately expose themselves to television, movies, music, books, friends, or the internet is a recipe for disaster. They must be guided in their choices. Communication and a close eye are critical. However, we cannot isolate them. Instead, they must learn discernment and wisdom.
“Flee from evil and do good.”
Psalm 37:27 NASB
Our children will be sinned against. That is true of us all. A parent must teach children how to deal with those who do, starting with their siblings and childhood friends. Forgiveness can be tough, and we must model that for our children, especially in our homes. Honestly, it is difficult not to avenge ourselves and even more difficult not to avenge our children. It is our responsibility to protect them, but Romans 12:19 reminds us that vengeance is the Lord’s.
Parents should teach children Matthew 5:9. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God,” (NASB). This is a high standard. Young siblings learning to give up a toy or a privilege for each other would be a good way to start.
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification…” Ephesians 4:29 NASB
Also, parents must teach Biblical communication. Leading by example, we should teach our children to speak edifying words with their tone and motive in mind. Also, lying is unacceptable. Once lying is justified in our hearts, we become more susceptible to other sins. Ugly words, boasting, tattle-telling, meddling, gossip, grumbling, whining, arguing, inappropriate humor, and sarcasm are pitfalls that we should all avoid. Teaching our children to listen is imperative. “Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk,” (Harasick). Children must also be taught not to interrupt others because it shows disrespect and a lack of self-control.
We must teach our children to be stewards of their time, abilities, bodies, and material blessings. We must teach a Biblical work ethic (Colossians 3:23) and roles within the family. Leading by example and repenting when we fail is God’s design for the home. Ironically, God allows us to have children in our youth when we are learning ourselves. It is through our life experiences trusting in the Lord that we are sanctified by His grace.
Week 8
Parents as Encouragers
“Parenting is discipleship of our children in patience and understanding,” (Harasick). Through our discipline and encouragement as parents, our children should come to see God, not us, as the ultimate authority in their lives. “We want to be an encouraging parent whose limits are reasonable and bound up in Scripture. Then we want to help children to follow God’s Word and to understand that they have a need for wise counsel,” (Harasick).
As parents, we are always teaching. It is God’s design in the family unit for our children to be with us in life’s situations and to see how we handle them. When the family is together they should actually be together. Obviously, both parents will not be at every school function, ballgame, or recital. Sometimes things happen which are out of our control. However, this should never be our pattern of behavior.
Within the home, limits must be set. Spending time with our children in the Word allows us to discuss opinions and convictions with our children. Limits, the need for parental involvement, and studying the Word help children to develop humility, allows time for conviction (brought on by the Holy Spirit), and confession in a secure and loving environment. A strong parent-child relationship allows for meaningful discipleship.
Parents should show affection to one another and to their children. This provides a peaceful, stable environment. The lack of affection should never be used as a tool for punishment. Love in the home should be unconditional like the Father’s love for us. Time spent loving, listening to, and training our children is precious.
Parents who are angry, selfish, hypocritical, unjust, or living vicariously through their child leave the child feeling hopeless. Not one of us is perfect, neither are our children. Pursuing excellence is different than pursuing perfection. We must allow our children to be appropriately disciplined for misbehavior, and shown grace and love that is unconditional.
WEEK 9
Parents as Evangelists
J.C. Ryle says, “the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered” when we are training our children. Parents do not train children only to correct behaviors. It is our ultimate goal to pass on Biblical truth from generation to generation. Parents are responsible to lead children to know and understand Christ, but only He can save them. John MacArthur says, “You need to teach your children the law of God, the gospel of divine grace, and their need for a Savior. Point them to Jesus Christ as the only one who can save them.” As parents, we have the opportunity to either point our children to Christ or to show them what it means to live hypocritically. We, not our pastor, have a greater opportunity than anyone else to show them Christ. Therefore, we should not teach them a partial, diluted gospel. The real issue we must concern ourselves with is the preparation and cultivation of the heart of our child.
John MacArthur says that we must teach these things to our children in order to prepare their hearts:
- To fear God, because judgment is coming.
- Humility, because Christ was humble.
- Penitence, because we must all repent of sin.
- Facts about God, sin, and Christ.
- Appreciation for Christ and His Church, because of all that He has done for us.
Assurance of salvation and conviction of sin are jobs of the Holy Spirit. If we as parents take on these jobs ourselves, we can confuse or mislead our child, and none of us want that. Childhood is a time for preparation, training, and teaching. Children should learn about sin and that it is impossible to be righteous and holy without the Savior. MacArthur lists some essential concepts that parents should teach:
- Good and evil
- Sin and punishment
- Repentance and faith
- God’s Holiness and God’s Wrath
- Christ as God incarnate
- Atonement for sin
- Meaning of the resurrection
- The Lordship of Christ
If a young child expresses faith, the parents should encourage them and challenge them, because, hopefully, a mature faith will come from it. Since salvation is between a child and Christ, it is not up to the parent to give assurance, but encouragement and help to understand what it really means to be a believer in life’s experiences through the teaching of the Word. However, true belief is not a function of intelligence or knowledge, but of grace.
Unfortunately, many young children have been misled by easy-believism. How many children have walked out of a VBS with false security in the way they answered the question, “Do you want to ask Jesus into your heart?” or “Do you want to go to heaven?” These tactics do not save. Salvation comes by faith alone through Christ alone. We must never give our child a false sense of security. The parents’ responsibility is to pray, pray, and pray! We can teach them and urge them, but we cannot save them. As parents, we may not see the fruit from our children for years, but we should be a prayer support for them. We should pray for wisdom, for our child’s salvation, for Him to use us, for increased understanding of the Word, for their protection, for strength and comfort in their trials, for their wisdom in present and future decisions, for their relationships, and for their ministry. We should pray for everything!
The parents’ reward is personal satisfaction and growth as we faithfully serve as spouse and parent. “Biblical parenting is a life to a life for a lifetime, so enjoy it!” (Harasick)
This parenting series is informative and a good tool for parents. Even though my children are older, I have learned so much by listening to Rick Harasick and others who contributed to the sessions. I wish that as a young parent of young children that I could have been exposed to this series, and I think that it would be beneficial to others.
If you would like to listen to this sermon series for yourself, click here.
Corinth Baptist Church 