By Joey Carroll
For the next few weeks, let’s talk about some easy stuff like marriage, divorce, remarriage, widowhood, and singleness. I am obviously being sarcastic. But the Bible does have much to say about these things. So, you will have to make the decision we all have to make when we sit down to read the Bible. Am I going to humble myself to what Scripture teaches, or am I going to stick with my opinions, experiences, and emotions? I wonder why that is so difficult for us all?
Paul deals with marriage as the first subject in 1 Corinthians 7. Every time I counsel a young couple getting married, I have them spend much time studying Ephesians 5. There we find God’s purpose for marriage. God created the marriage relationship like no other relationship in this life. It is uniquely designed to reflect God’s glory in the Gospel. Through the Gospel, the Lord Jesus has obtained a beautiful bride of His own, the Church. In the greatest display of love, our Lord willingly gave up His life for His bride. And through His selfless sacrifice, He was made “one” with her; a unity and a love that will be on display for the rest of eternity. In response, the Church, or the bride of Christ, is supposed to respond to her husband with submission and devotion. But Christ models that same attitude that the bride is supposed to have. He always expresses submission and devotion toward the Heavenly Father.
Our marriages are to reflect this same wisdom and glory. The husband is to selflessly and sacrificially love and serve his bride. The bride is to respond with a humble willingness to follow her husband’s leadership. And when a man and a woman follow in the design of God for marriage, they enjoy a deep, satisfying love and peace that will last until death.
At the city of Corinth, however, things were challenging to say the least. Corinth was a sex-crazed society, and there were some in the church that over-corrected on the issue by saying, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman,” (1 Corinthians 7:1, ESV). And like Paul often did, he responded with a “yes, but” answer.
In other words, “yes” to remaining unmarried (i.e. not touching a woman) if a person is able (read 1 Corinthians 7:7), but that’s not for most people. And so he responds with “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband,” (1 Corinthians 7:2, ESV) This passage says a lot about marriage, but it is not teaching that everyone should get married. Paul is going to spend much of 1 Corinthians 7 making the case for remaining unmarried (see verses 32-35). The word “have” in verse 2 is in a present tense active voice aspect. In other words, a man is to be intimate with his wife often. And a wife is to be intimate with her husband often. He explains “what and why” in the next 3 verses. But it is based on mutuality and respect, and not one spouse dominating intimacy. Notice verse 4. Paul constructs the verse with great care and balance. “The wife does not… the husband does. The husband does not… the wife does,” (v. 4, ESV). In other words, the marriage relationship is marked by unity, mutuality, and intimacy. All of that is to be expressed often. In fact, Paul will say in verse 5, stop depriving one another of enjoying these things.
1 Corinthians 7:2 teaches many things about a God-honoring marriage. The phrase “each is to have his/her own” leaves no room for polygamy. And “each man” is masculine and “each wife” in the text is feminine. The language of the Bible is clear. One woman and one man in marriage. So God’s design for marriage has always been the same since he established the design in Genesis 2:24.
Intimacy is the wedding gift from God to a married couple. It is not only designed by God, but it is instructed by Him to be carried out often to celebrate the covenant they have made with each other for life. But intimacy also protects a marriage from Satan. As it turns out, our Enemy loves to destroy marriages by tempting them toward adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5).
This article originally appeared in The Clarion Newspaper.
Corinth Baptist Church 